Sometimes I reminisce about my childhood and laugh at my own childish mistakes. I remember how I used to cry on the first day of every term. I cried when my dad took my brothers and me to a stationery shop to buy us stationery for the term. I always got crayons.  That is why I cried. I didn’t understand why my elder brothers got a mathematical set each and I got a pack of dull-colored crayons.

All I wanted was a math-set too. I wanted to use the protractor to draw curves and draw triangles with the sets square. When I was bored, I’d take out either the divider or the compass and punch holes into the eraser. That is all I wanted. I wonder why it is so difficult to get old people to understand the simple needs of a toddler. Better yet, I wonder why it is so impossible to see the wisdom of the elderly until you are older. I wasn’t using those instruments right anytime I laid my infant hands on them. But because my brothers had them, I felt I needed one too. The need to have what the other person has even though you don’t need it; It is called covetousness, right? My mind played back this episode from my childhood because of a picture I saw on twitter some weeks back. In the picture was a guy and a girl both top-naked and the caption suggested that if the guy’s ‘bare-chestedness’ doesn’t offend you, neither should that of the girl. Well well well, this is where we are right now with our fight for gender equality eh? You want to be bare-chested in public merely because men can do that? – Merely because men can do that? Excuse me, what is the point here? In my childhood, I wanted the math-set that my brothers got, merely because they had it. I admit that was rather childish. So seeing grown women literally making childish demands such as this is rather disturbing. You want to unstrap the bra and let those ladies loose and walk around eh? Well go on right ahead. If that will salt your soup, then by all means, knock yourself out. You see, this is everything that is wrong with gender equality; as I have already stated here, let’s fight for equity instead. Where the society gives to each what they deserve. Who knows, probably at the end of the fight, we might realize that women deserve more privileges than men (certainly they do). But this won’t happen if our dear sisters are merely fighting for everything men have. So you want to grow beards and shave too? Do you really feel nature is unfair to you because you don’t have broader shoulders and an Adam’s apple? Just realize that we are different but equal in terms of worth.

The Apostle Peter puts it in a better way  ‘… showing honor to the woman as the WEAKER vessel, since they are HEIRS with you of the grace of life…’. Let’s learn a bit of primitive fisherman wisdom here. If you look closely, you would realize that the bases for showing women honor as the weaker vessel is that we are heirs together with them. In the sense that, we have equal inheritance with women in Christ, and on that level we are equal. But physically, women are generally weaker than men. This isn’t demeaning, but a glaring fact. The bible didn’t say that women are intellectually, spiritually or economically weaker than men. It stated a fact that we all know: men are physically stronger than women. Hence, we men must honor women.  Therefore, where is the wisdom in merely wanting to have anything that a man has? You don’t see men pained because they don’t have menstrual cramps? Besides not everything the society has unduly given to men is good. I am even shocked some of these things are desirable to some women. I know it is all a ploy to prove a point, but that isn’t necessary.

I read a very interesting post recently on the ghanafeminism.wordpress.com blog (here it is). I tell you the truth; I haven’t had a goodnight’s sleep since then. The post was about a young lady who was in the news recently for all the bad reasons. She apparently rose to prominence because she slept with a few famous men and is currently dating a very rich man. All of this is alleged. Now, the post began and even well into the middle with some sound arguments. But getting to the end the writer declared boldly that she found nothing wrong with prostitution. Oh of course I washed my face with detol and read that paragraph again. This is something I wouldn’t be shocked to see in a ghanapatriarchy.wordpress.com blog post. In fact, I am sure it would be one of the main aims of the blokes behind such a blog: to glamorize prostitution, compelling as many young ladies to go into it as possible. After all, prostitution is to the benefit of men because we gain more. I heard one could sleep with a prostitute for as low as any amount under 5gh cedis *it is purely coincidental that I know this*. Therefore I conclude that men gain more from prostitution than the women involved. So when I saw that portion of the post I was in shock. These are her exact words:

‘Nevertheless, prostitution is not bad. Women have the right to control our bodies and if we see it  fit to exchange sexual services for monetary compensation in a safe manner it is our prerogative’

It will interest you to know that she stated early on in the post that a woman selling her body doesn’t amount to objectification. Excuse me again, if this isn’t objectification then what is? You mean you don’t think prostitution is objectification? Ah? I am so lost eh! O and this part is my personal favorite, ‘The ability for women to tap into the erotic and utilize it to navigate the world as we see it’.  ‘The ability to tap into the erotic…’ ha! She describes this heinous act with such beautiful language. Never would it have crossed my mind that a woman somewhere would support the idea of prostitution. You see why some men do not want to have anything to do with feminism? This point stated by our dear friend above goes a long way to justify to some extent the point that women are their own enemies (not all though). Prostitution should be treated as a human rights issue because there are pimps in the background eating off these poor girls. Do you even know the psychological trauma and physical pain their customers subject them to? The story is told of a prostitute who got so bruised from the rough beastly sex she had with her partners. She was advised – obviously by her colleagues – to put camphor in a bucket of hot steaming water. After this, she squatted over the bucket naked, for the steam to have direct contact with her nether regions. She stood up that day from the bucket with a numb organ: numb enough to insulate her from the pains of the trade. This is the kind of ordeal some women go through and some other women think it is cool to prostitute merely because society seems to have given men some level of sexual freedom? Wow! This is even deeper than I thought. You really think having freedom over your own body means sleeping around for money? See, the very moment you attain freedom and move on to engage yourself in barbaric activities, please know that you are a greater slave after freedom than before it.

Anyway, I am a Christian. In Christianity sexual immorality isn’t acceptable in one sex and unacceptable in another. The standards are high and the same for everybody. Jesus said by merely fantasizing about sleeping with a woman, I have already committed the sin. So if you want sexual freedom because society seems to have given it to men, dear feminist, you are lost. The fact that society turns a blind eye to the sexually immoral acts of men is the cause of many of society’s problems.  Let’s fight for what we deserve and not what somebody else seems to have. Be content with crayons, the math-set might be detrimental to you.


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Elle Kacee

Sooo…. You as a small child asking for pointy toys that could take your eyes out is the same thing as women wanting the right to go topless like men? Wha? Are you afraid we’ll poke our eyes out with teh boobz or something? (I’m sure, whatever the fear, men definitely know what’s better for women’s bodies than women. Definitely.) The two things aren’t equivalent at all.


of course i wasnt making my point based on the items involved, but the logic. The logic. Thinking thay you must have something merely because another person has it. That isnt right. and no, me dont dictate what women should do with their bodies but if i walked into ur room and were top naked, wld you cover urself or not? am sure u will. thats your answer right there. A guy wldnt mind a woman seeing his chest, cuz theres nothing there really.

Elle Kacee

You can’t just repeat “the logic” and expect what you said to be logical. There was a logical reason you were given treatment that you perceived as unfair as a child–you would hurt yourself. There is no logical reason for the disparate differences in treatment between men and women without the explanation of patriarchy.


the thing about citing a particular scenario as a support to your point is, there is always gonna be divergent views. Because no two events are identical. so moving on from there, you really think women should be allowed to take off their shirts in public? cool. do u realize that in some circles men takin off their shirt is prohibited. a footballer gets a yellow card for celebrating a goal by doing that. i am sure this is my first post you are reading or the first one on feminism. i write about gender a lot. i am all for feminism (at least the acceptable part of it). i hate patriarchy. i even have a post entitled ‘patriarchy: the bane of men’. what i dont like about some feminist views is the pettiness and belligerence. a woman was raped in Saudi Arabia not too long ago. she was sentenced to 6 months in prison and 200 lashes. we are not talking about that. some feminists want women to have the freedom to take off their shirts in public. is that really all what this is about? instead of attacking the real issues, WE ARE HERE JUSTIFYING PROSTITUTION all in the name of ‘ WOMEN SHOULD HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN BODIES’. excuse me, i find that rather childish (sorry if you find this offensive). Let’s tackle the real issues. you can go through my blog to find out the lot i have said about gender and feminism. we are probably on the same side, it is just that i feel some feminists are giving the noble cause a bad name. it is a fact you cant dispute. we should all stand against such backward ideologies.

Elle Kacee

You’re missing that the unequal treatment of men and women–from differing treatments of shirtlessness to punishments for being raped–all come from the same place: patriarchy. I do not have to pick the “worst” iteration and work against it exclusively; I am against it in all its forms. But of course you aren’t; you are the sort of man who calls a raped woman a prostitute (or were you calling shirtless women prostitutes?) and thinks of grown women as the equivalent of children. Also, being a woman, I don’t need to read your posts on feminism to know what it is. Why don’t you read mine so you can actually learn what women (you know, the actual FEMinists) think feminism is? Because, at least with this post, you seem to just be parroting patriarchy and calling it feminism.

Either way, just FYI, I’m done debating this with you. If you’re really interested in learning, you will go out and learn; if you’re not, you won’t. You will know the truth of what kind of person you are. I don’t need to.


There it is. the belligerence and seeming bitterness that stains feminism. did i in anyway call shirtless women prostitutes? wow!!! its like your prejudice of men has come to bear just by reading a blog post from a guy who thinks prostitution shouldnt be justified for women merely because they want sexual freedom. and also, gender equality shouldnt be about women fighting for what society seems to have given to men but rather what women deserve. i HONESTLY thought we were having an intellectual debate till ur last comment. you sound pissed and it’s definitely not my fault. you call yourself ‘an actual feminist’ well vitriol is what you probably spew *judging from your last comment*. and that is wrong. VERY VERY WRONG. its like nobody can have a discourse with any of ur kind without it ending up in some bitter exchanges. You think women going topless is a priority in feminism, well done. you think prostitution is justifiable because of prostitution, well bravo!!! but hear this, these two will go a long way to deepen the foundations of patriarchy… ah well.. all the best in your fight for equality.

Elle Kacee

From your last comment:
“some feminists want women to have the freedom to take off their shirts in public. is that really all what this is about? instead of attacking the real issues, WE ARE HERE JUSTIFYING PROSTITUTION all in the name of ‘ WOMEN SHOULD HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN BODIES’.”

That, right there, is why I said you seemed to be conflating shirtlessness with prostitution. But you already know you wrote that and you’re just denying it because that’s what men do when their hateful points of view are made clear to them: deny and become offended when your lies aren’t believed. (The example is within 20 seconds.)

Also, I cannot help if you read my typed text with an angry inner voice. That is your prerogative and doesn’t change the actual fact of my attitude. Though, really, you are the one being insensitive and disrespectful to the majority of the people in the world, so….

But I told myself I wouldn’t answer you because this conversation is pointless–not because my head is on FIRE with ANGER at the MAN who DARED to have an OPINION, but because you are a man who is doing as he was socialized to do: performing masculinity through the subjugation of women. In this particular case by ignoring what you are being told by women–well, a woman. And since listening to women is allyship 101 for men, I believe I am safe to assume you aren’t actually interested in feminism. That is why I said I wouldn’t debate you anymore, not because I’m an angry man-hater who hates men.

I expect any reply you have to distort what I’ve said, but I will not be responding to you again. I feel confident in making the assumption that you are smart enough to know when you’re sea-lioning (or whatevering if this particular iteration has a different nickname) and I have no interest in playing the game any longer.


well, probably my mistake was to make the issue of ‘top-nakedness’ come right before ‘prostitution’. i said those cuz they are the two main points of discussion in the piece not because i implied that one is dependent on another. as you assumed i implied, ‘topless women are prostitutes’. i didnt intend to say that. well as for whether you are angry or i read meanings into ur post, that’s neither here nor there. we can always deduce the tone of voice of a writer from his/her choice of words. my point is well-made: there is no justification for the glamorization of prostitution. if you think otherwise, then you are probably fighting against women. that isnt feminism, it is patriarchy. All the best in that, ok?


*prostitution is justifiable because of feminism

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