All I wanted was a math-set too. I wanted to use the protractor to draw curves and draw triangles with the sets square. When I was bored, I’d take out either the divider or the compass and punch holes into the eraser. That is all I wanted. I wonder why it is so difficult to get old people to understand the simple needs of a toddler. Better yet, I wonder why it is so impossible to see the wisdom of the elderly until you are older. I wasn’t using those instruments right anytime I laid my infant hands on them. But because my brothers had them, I felt I needed one too. The need to have what the other person has even though you don’t need it; It is called covetousness, right? My mind played back this episode from my childhood because of a picture I saw on twitter some weeks back. In the picture was a guy and a girl both top-naked and the caption suggested that if the guy’s ‘bare-chestedness’ doesn’t offend you, neither should that of the girl. Well well well, this is where we are right now with our fight for gender equality eh? You want to be bare-chested in public merely because men can do that? – Merely because men can do that? Excuse me, what is the point here? In my childhood, I wanted the math-set that my brothers got, merely because they had it. I admit that was rather childish. So seeing grown women literally making childish demands such as this is rather disturbing. You want to unstrap the bra and let those ladies loose and walk around eh? Well go on right ahead. If that will salt your soup, then by all means, knock yourself out. You see, this is everything that is wrong with gender equality; as I have already stated here, let’s fight for equity instead. Where the society gives to each what they deserve. Who knows, probably at the end of the fight, we might realize that women deserve more privileges than men (certainly they do). But this won’t happen if our dear sisters are merely fighting for everything men have. So you want to grow beards and shave too? Do you really feel nature is unfair to you because you don’t have broader shoulders and an Adam’s apple? Just realize that we are different but equal in terms of worth.

The Apostle Peter puts it in a better way  ‘… showing honor to the woman as the WEAKER vessel, since they are HEIRS with you of the grace of life…’. Let’s learn a bit of primitive fisherman wisdom here. If you look closely, you would realize that the bases for showing women honor as the weaker vessel is that we are heirs together with them. In the sense that, we have equal inheritance with women in Christ, and on that level we are equal. But physically, women are generally weaker than men. This isn’t demeaning, but a glaring fact. The bible didn’t say that women are intellectually, spiritually or economically weaker than men. It stated a fact that we all know: men are physically stronger than women. Hence, we men must honor women.  Therefore, where is the wisdom in merely wanting to have anything that a man has? You don’t see men pained because they don’t have menstrual cramps? Besides not everything the society has unduly given to men is good. I am even shocked some of these things are desirable to some women. I know it is all a ploy to prove a point, but that isn’t necessary.

I read a very interesting post recently on the ghanafeminism.wordpress.com blog (here it is). I tell you the truth; I haven’t had a goodnight’s sleep since then. The post was about a young lady who was in the news recently for all the bad reasons. She apparently rose to prominence because she slept with a few famous men and is currently dating a very rich man. All of this is alleged. Now, the post began and even well into the middle with some sound arguments. But getting to the end the writer declared boldly that she found nothing wrong with prostitution. Oh of course I washed my face with detol and read that paragraph again. This is something I wouldn’t be shocked to see in a ghanapatriarchy.wordpress.com blog post. In fact, I am sure it would be one of the main aims of the blokes behind such a blog: to glamorize prostitution, compelling as many young ladies to go into it as possible. After all, prostitution is to the benefit of men because we gain more. I heard one could sleep with a prostitute for as low as any amount under 5gh cedis *it is purely coincidental that I know this*. Therefore I conclude that men gain more from prostitution than the women involved. So when I saw that portion of the post I was in shock. These are her exact words:

‘Nevertheless, prostitution is not bad. Women have the right to control our bodies and if we see it  fit to exchange sexual services for monetary compensation in a safe manner it is our prerogative’

It will interest you to know that she stated early on in the post that a woman selling her body doesn’t amount to objectification. Excuse me again, if this isn’t objectification then what is? You mean you don’t think prostitution is objectification? Ah? I am so lost eh! O and this part is my personal favorite, ‘The ability for women to tap into the erotic and utilize it to navigate the world as we see it’.  ‘The ability to tap into the erotic…’ ha! She describes this heinous act with such beautiful language. Never would it have crossed my mind that a woman somewhere would support the idea of prostitution. You see why some men do not want to have anything to do with feminism? This point stated by our dear friend above goes a long way to justify to some extent the point that women are their own enemies (not all though). Prostitution should be treated as a human rights issue because there are pimps in the background eating off these poor girls. Do you even know the psychological trauma and physical pain their customers subject them to? The story is told of a prostitute who got so bruised from the rough beastly sex she had with her partners. She was advised – obviously by her colleagues – to put camphor in a bucket of hot steaming water. After this, she squatted over the bucket naked, for the steam to have direct contact with her nether regions. She stood up that day from the bucket with a numb organ: numb enough to insulate her from the pains of the trade. This is the kind of ordeal some women go through and some other women think it is cool to prostitute merely because society seems to have given men some level of sexual freedom? Wow! This is even deeper than I thought. You really think having freedom over your own body means sleeping around for money? See, the very moment you attain freedom and move on to engage yourself in barbaric activities, please know that you are a greater slave after freedom than before it.

Anyway, I am a Christian. In Christianity sexual immorality isn’t acceptable in one sex and unacceptable in another. The standards are high and the same for everybody. Jesus said by merely fantasizing about sleeping with a woman, I have already committed the sin. So if you want sexual freedom because society seems to have given it to men, dear feminist, you are lost. The fact that society turns a blind eye to the sexually immoral acts of men is the cause of many of society’s problems.  Let’s fight for what we deserve and not what somebody else seems to have. Be content with crayons, the math-set might be detrimental to you.

Well of course this has to be a story about a medical officer offering assistance to women who have been sexually abused in rural Uganda, isn’t it? Let me burst your bubble, you got it wrong there. This is indeed a story about a medical officer sent to reach out to MALE rape victims of rural Uganda. Yes, I am talking about men who have been raped. The thought of it might even cause many to laugh in ridicule of such men who would allow themselves to be abused. *in a sarcastic tone* I  mean, c’mon bro, how on earth did you allow yourself to be raped? Especially by another man? The article shook me when I read it months ago. The sexual abuse of men has over the years become one of the numerous war crimes that rebels and soldiers commit. There was an account of a man who was taken away into the forest and was brutally abused sexually for years. Every night, about 11 rebels would take turns in raping him. And when he didn’t have the strength to remain on his knees, one would wrap his arm around his waist, holding him up, just so another could have the chance to have anal knowledge of him. For three or so years he went through this till he managed to escape. It is just a gruesome act which is fueled by evil supplied from the refinery of hell. Most of these men, live with the pain for the rest of their lives.

One would think the woes of these men would have ended with the end of the abusive experience. The abuse is damage done to their physical, mental, and emotional selves but what happens after that damages their soul more deeply. Most of them shut their mouths never to open it to talk about what transpired especially to their wives. So they live with the hurt shut up within them for many years.  One of the victims said :

“How do I tell my wife I was raped? What is she going to think about me? She won’t see me as a man again. She will start looking at me like any other woman.

(http://www.dw.de/male-rape-victims-in-uganda-speak-out/a-16809077)

Wow! This statement captures a lot and basically encapsulates the African society’s view on gender. So from the quote above, we can infer that in such a community being abused as a man automatically transforms you  into a woman. And since the  wives wouldn’t want to be in a same-sex marriage, they leave. The ‘tender loving care’ that women exude by default isn’t a trait found in all women after all. This is the reason why most of the male rape victims keep mute about their ordeal and endure the pain. It is only cruelty, that can cause a wife to abandon her husband in such a critical moment in his life.

No, my beef isn’t with the wives of these victims but rather my beef is with the society – the patriarchal society. One would think women are the only victims of patriarchy. Far from that, men are also victims. The fact that society allows men to wield this much power – this  undue and unmerited power, is in itself a curse rather than a blessing. We live in communities where every organ and component of the human anatomy in men is supposed to be hyperactive bar the tear glands. Society tells boys they are not supposed to cry, ‘mmarima nsu’, literally means, ‘Men don’t cry’. Who sets these rules? Who makes these laws without sending the rest of us a memo? Which philosopher, under the frenzied influence of alcohol, thought of this? Men do not cry? Why do we have tear glands in the first place? Society unconsciously trains men to be as emotionless as a log. Society replaces the ever thumping human heart of men with an ice-cold block. Yet when men end up being what they have been trained to be, or what is expected of them, society frowns on it.

When I get married in the next few years, o dear future wife, I will cry if I have to. I will shiver when all is not too well. I will tell you when I am hurt by your actions. I won’t bottle stuff in me all in the name of being a man. If internal bleeding is a deadly medical condition, then internal tearing has to be on that same level of deadliness. For in both cases there is supposed to be an outpouring of fluids, which rather happens internally. Patriarchy has even made women more mean. For which sound woman would abandon her husband after he has been abused? Think of those men in Uganda and the pain they will endure for the rest of their lives. Had they been in a society that doesn’t hand men ‘all the power’, they would probably be comforted by their wives. Let’s strive to make our society one in which respect, rights and power are equitably distributed between men and women.